9:00 PM – 16 – passion fruit

I cannot wait to get out of high school. I am ready to graduate. Now. I wonder what it would be like to go to college at 16. I suspect it would be fine but that I would miss something important. Still, I am ready to get out of here. I have lived in New Jersey all my life. I want something different. I want change.

This discontent, this unrest, started last summer, when I took a summer course in World Geopolitics at a college, and met some of the most amazing people I’ve ever known (and, regrettably, lost touch with). I also met a boatload of pretentious folk, but it was well worth it. Some memories:

– Dancing in the quad barefoot.
– Being somewhere where smart was cool.
– Describing someone as “the epitome of fuck” before I really knew what I was talking about.
– Shoe Golf.
– Helping put together a campus literary magazine.
– Role playing a solution to the Arab/Israeli conflict.
– Becoming addicted to caffeine.
– Learning how to dance.
– Attending a dawn ceremony that involved standing up, sharing a memory of the summer program, then saying, “I love the Passion Fruit” and gulping passion fruit juice.

I want more of this. I want to banish the feeling of invisibility, of being overlooked, pigeonholed as the shy one, the nerdy one, the good student but not much else. I am ready to move on.

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